Grandma, May You Rest in Peace

In case you can't read it, the text says: "Will you love me in December as you do in May, will you love me in the good old fashioned way? When my hair has all turned gray, will you kiss me and say, That you love me in December as you do in May?"

hose are my grandparents. I took that picture back in 2008 at their 50th wedding anniversary celebration. After a five year battle with heart problems, my grandmother passed away this month. Although I added the text on the photo above in 2008, the answer ended up being yes. My grandfather loved my grandmother in the same way he did when they first met as teenagers through her last very difficult days.

My grandmother was a wonderful lady and was a very big part of my life. During my childhood summers we would make play-dough together, weave rugs out of old sheets, and  decorate sombrero hats melted down from Styrofoam cups. At Christmases she would make her famous pepperoni rolls and vanilla cake. Then during my summer visits, when I was too old for childhood arts and crafts, we could just sit back and watch silly TV shows while discussing which male actors were the the most attractive.

She was always very young in spirit. She had the greatest sense of humor, as in only she would think something silly was funny. Then she would proceed to laugh about it for so long that you would eventually get drawn in and laugh too. For as long as I knew her she never lost that youthful sense of humor. My grandmother was also very honest. She could be upfront and tell you like it is, while still being her charming self. She was a smart lady with a lot to say and wasn't afraid to share her thoughts with others. Although she was much more, I will probably always remember her best for her sense of humor and honesty.

I am still missing her, but I am thankful that she is no longer in pain. My grandma is in a better place now-- next to her son, her parents, and all the others who are no longer with us.

She was beautiful inside and out, from beginning to end.

My grandma as a young teenager back in West Virginia.

Christina, The Beauty Pageant Contestant

es, you read the title correctly. I competed in the 2012 Miss Sinergy beauty pageant (all for charity of course). And I placed second! Crazy, right? Now, for those that know me well, this seemed completely out of left field, but I really did it to do something outside my comfort zone and to try and help me improve on my inner beauty. After all, with the help of a good spray tan and a makeup artist applying drag queen levels of make up, I had plenty of help with the outer beauty element.

Internal beauty? How would a pageant named after the outside physical beauty help my inner beauty... Well, that's simple. Since when does the most beautiful girl win the beauty pageant? Ok yea, the ugliest girl never wins, but the final winner always has to have the entire package. She has to be (or at least seem to be) beautiful from the inside out. Have you ever met anyone that was drop dead gorgeous but then after getting to know them for a few minutes or days or years later you find them to be repulsive because their inner beauty does not reflect the outside appearance? I know it's cliché to say this, but I honestly believe that physical beauty is overrated and inner beauty is all that matters, except maybe in a photograph. I know too many people that become more beautiful physically to me because of what they offer from within and so many gorgeous individuals with sucky personalities who I can't look at for too long without getting annoyed. To a certain extent, I really only see the inside after a while. Maybe that's how everyone works, or maybe I'm unlucky, or maybe I'm actually really lucky because of it. No matter the explanation, it's the honest truth. There are many people who may not have a very fortunate lot in the beauty department, but then after getting to know them I can't look at them any other way other than as beautiful. Physically beautiful, really just because their inner beauty radiates outward.

The Evening Gown Competition

Anyways, back to the pageant. The seeds for entering a competition like this were planted when I was an audience member at the last year's Miss Sinergy competition. Initially I was convinced to attend because the ticket money went towards charity (mainly a breast cancer foundation), plus it's always fun to dress up for events. At the event I met some great people and got to talking to a judge who was adamant about my entrance in the next year's competition. He said I would be a great candidate. Then, at the after party, I met some of the contestants who also recommended that I enter next time since they had so  much fun participating. The candidates said that they met a bunch of amazing people and it was just an overall great time. They didn't report any of the usual catty-ness you'd expect at a pageant, plus it's all for charity. Since then my little sister had been encouraging me to just go for it. And you're only young once, so I just went ahead and entered.

Law School Update

Before law school started I was going to write a blog post about my expectations for the upcoming semester. I never got around to actually writing it because I was so "busy." A funny notion looking back, now that I really know what it is to be busy. Thanks law school!

I'm only about halfway though my first semester of law school and it's already a little too fuzzy for me to remember all my expectations but here's a quick summary:

Pre-Law School Me: "All the law school students I've met are all such Negative Nancys about the first year, always complaining and whining. It's just a lot of reading, it can't be that bad. All you have to learn to do is not procrastinate and get stuff done. No big deal. I'm so excited, whooo hooo, can't wait!" 

Now for the reality...

Weekend before first day of class: Started the seemingly harmless first day reading assignments only to find out that when reading a dense law opinion, three pages can take up to an hour to brief, let alone understand. This was a frustrating kick in the butt. Spent all weekend reading and then when I was finally finished for Monday's classes I was terrified that I didn't understand the cases I had read to the extent that my classmates might. This would all be well and good if it weren't for the infamous Socratic Method I knew was awaiting me.

Side note on the Socratic Method- I'm not a fan of public speaking, or even speaking in groups. I'm also not really a fan of small talk. I don't like expanding on my verbal answers and I hate BS-ed responses. I like simplicity and getting to the point. Either I know the answer or I don't. But when  you're called on in law school "I don't know" is never an acceptable answer. Considering the amount of times you're called on, it's not possible to know all the answers. You are supposed to reason your way to some answer. Definitely not something I'm good at on the fly. I'm fine at it if you give me some time and I can write/edit it, but I can't talk it out in front of 70 people. Basically, I have the fear of being called on in public, PLUS the fear of trying to BS some type of response, which makes the Socratic Method more than a little daunting. 

Once JD classes began: No matter how much reading I did, the stress was immense. I was so terrified of getting called on and not knowing the answer. After reading 35+ pages for each class, the professor would then ask about one specific word that a judge used to express XYZ. He would even goes as far to make the whole class wait until you re-read the entire case until you found that one little word he wanted. No matter how detailed your reading was there was always more the professor could expect you to explain to the class. 

I couldn't eat some mornings. I was a monster on the metro ride to school. Arya had to learn to stop trying to engage me in any conversation because of the inevitable attack that would come out of me. (I've learned that I need to deal with stress better...).

And all of that was only the first week. Then my legal writing course began. It was probably the class I most looked forward to. The practical layering skills, unlike what was taught in my core classes. These 2 credits seemed manageable until my first memo assignment came around and I sat down at 7pm to begin and wasn't done with a basic draft until 4:30am.

That's enough complaining. Most of the above was drafted around the end of the first month of classes. I've learned to manage it all much better now. Still TONS of work, especially since I have many outside of school obligations this month (more to come on that stuff later). Even though law school hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies,  I really do love the academic challenge. I love that the first year is a tough/dark time for even some of the more brilliant law students and the fact that it's so difficult makes it all the more rewarding for me to get through each week. Then again, I may change my tune and want to quit again by tomorrow morning.

Now back to my infinite amounts of reading. I've learned a lot so far, but I still haven't managed to stop procrastinating (see evidence above). The hard part of the semester hasn't even begun yet... studying for finals. Wish me luck! Hopefully I come out alive in December.

"The Big Easy"

reat music, great food, and great fun was what made my 4th of July weekend trip to New Orleans way more than great. My amazing friend, Kait, and her hubby (both visiting from Australia) met me and Arya down in Louisiana for a long weekend adventure.

As a warning, this post is just going to center on pictures. Some taken with Kait's awesome new camera and some from Arya's iPhone camera. So please be forgiving if there is a difference in quality... some of us are just too lazy to carry around nice cameras. ;)

Five Years Without You

Dear Daddy,

Today officially makes it five years since you died. In some ways I cannot believe it's been that long and in other ways I feel like I've lived three lives since. But no matter how many years pass by, your place in my life is still empty.

After you left I literally cried every day for six months straight. Then when I realized I hadn't cried one day I freaked out, fearing that I was forgetting you, which of course led right back to those familiar tears. I couldn't even watch Grey's Anatomy at first because the hospital scenes reminded me too much of the three uncertain days of waiting by your ICU bedside before it took a turn for the worst. I definitely did my share of private grieving but have come a long way since, even though I still have my occasional moments.

Of course, I would still do anything to talk to you now. To hear your thoughts on the the current debt ceiling crisis, my life choices, or even just the weather. Anything.

Although you are always with me, I still miss you every day. Thank you for being such an amazing father and friend who loved me unconditionally and in so many ways gave me such a solid foundation of love and support to start my life from. I am so grateful for the years I got to spend with you, to know you, and to learn from you. But when the missing gets too tough I try and remind myself of what your brother said to me the night before your funeral, "Some people never get to have a dad as great as yours. In some ways you're lucky to have had him for even as long as 18 years." While he had a point, I think I might still prefer that conversation about the weather.

Loving you always,

Christina

Probably not the best picture of either of us, but pictures of us on my computer are pretty limited.

LYLAS! ;)

t first glance Stephanie is your typical pretty girl. Knows how to look cute, dress cute, even smell cute, but you assume it stops there. Except that under that lovely surface is confidence that keeps her going through all odds, ambition for only the best, and the drive that can actually get it all. Her giggly demeanor is just a guise she hides behind. She is not easily flustered, takes a pragmatic approach to problems, and is always by your side when you need her most.

Although she is younger by five years, in so many ways she has been the one helping me grow up. Over the past couple years I have watched Stephanie transform from the annoying baby sister to a real friend and even equal. Yes, we’ve definitely had our differences, verbal and physical, but in the end she is always there for me. At times, Stephanie is my most important voice of reason and blunt honesty even (or especially) when I don’t want to hear it.

I am just so proud of who she's become. Stephanie is one of the most well rounded people I know. She finished her freshman year of college with amazing grades, elected to offices in multiple student organizations, and is now working at an impressive summer internship. During her down time she hangs out with her many adoring friends with whom she pursues her love of fun, spontaneity, and life. I’m not surprised by how many guys have quickly fallen for her outer charm only to later see that her inner personally matches or even exceeds her outside.

I can’t believe my little sisters turns 19 today. It feels like only yesterday we would dress up and dance to the Aladdin soundtrack when she was four and I was nine.

Stephanie, I know you think that after the eventful birthdays of 18 and 21 life only goes downhill. I want you to remember that that’s not true. If you want it to, Life only gets better. Every birthday brings you “a whole new world.” Or as Aladdin and Jasmine would say:

A whole new world

Every turn a surprise

With new horizons to pursue

Every moment gets better

=)

Happy Birthday Stephanie!

Sorry sissy, I know you hate this old picture,
but I think it's just so darn cute!

A Few of my Favorite Things

n honor of the song, My Favorite Things, from The Sound of Music (which has been stuck in my head for the past couple days), I want to write about a few of my own favorite things.

But first, a little on how picking favorites also happens to be a favorite thing of mine. Whenever I find a new category of things/ types of people/ activities/ anything really, I find myself immediately picking a favorite. I'm scared that this may be a habit I need to get over before I have multiple kids, especially if it translates into picking a favorite offspring. Later on it could cause them some major psychological damage… whoops. Anyways, my natural gravitation towards favorites fits well my other obsessive tendencies. I feel strongly about what I like, I usually either hate or love things (rarely for logical reasons), but these strong inclinations are never set in stone. My feelings change often, so in the end there should be no hurt feelings, right?

Accordingly, here are a few of my favorite things… of the moment.

Walking

This is something fairly new, and honestly I am not sure how much of it is leftover from my days of trying to lose weight. I would count every calorie consumed and subtract that by the estimated calories burned throughout the day. (Of course, I chose the nerdiest way to lose weight.) But no matter the root, now I truly love walking. I even like choosing the slightly farther parking spot just to walk more.

I love walking my dog even after he is so worn out and panting that he takes every opportunity he gets to lay down in the shade of every tree we pass by.

I love walking and just appreciating that I have the physical ability to do so. That it’s not difficult for me to walk because of old age or some injury. I love the feeling of movement. But sometimes I love taking walks because it gives me the opportunity to do my next favorite thing…

Looking up at the Clouds

When people actually take the time lift their eyes towards the sky, I don’t think anyone is really ever disappointed. At least, whenever I look up I am never disappointed. I always think the same thing, “Why don’t I do this more often?” I love love love the sky. Yes, trees are pretty, flowers are nice, oceans are relaxing, but the sky is nice from everywhere. You don’t have to travel anywhere to find it. Pretty from any angle, any distance. Plus, it spends more time looking amazing than flowers are even in bloom. Looking up at the pretty in the sky always helps me remember how petty problems can be down below. That’s what I love most about the sky, how it can be such a nice pick me up from above.

Healthy, Loving Relationships

I know everyone probably likes healthy, loving relationships, but I REALLY like healthy, loving relationships. I never was that impressed or excited about the idea of young love. Too fleeting, meaningless, shallow even? My favorite is seeing much older couples out in public holding hands, who still seem very much in love. That never gets old to me. ;)

Maybe that’s why I love the Obamas so much. Barack is such a contrast to so many other American presidents in respect to how his personal life appears. He seems to really truly love AND still be in love with Michelle. They make time in their crazy hectic White House schedules to have private date nights. There are pictures of them with his Secret Service men looking away as the two of them share an intimate moment where they rest their foreheads against each other. They just seem like such an indestructible partnership, supporting each other through it all. If that’s not actually the reality of their relationship, then I guess I’m impressed with the show? Either way they inspire me to never settle for anything less than the true love they seem to share with each other.

Last (but probably least important), since we started with The Sound of Music, it's only appropriate to end with my favorite song from that musical, “Sixteen Going on Seventeen.”

And wow, I just listened to it again for the first time since my childhood, and wow. I guess from now on I will just focus on the dancing and love in their eyes, and ignore pretty much all of the lyrics.

I need someone
Older and wiser
Telling me what to do
You are 17 going on 18
I'll depend on you

I don’t even know where to start with that. Definitely not my favorite anything…

"Living In Sin"

efore I officially moved into an apartment with Arya I was told countless horror stories of what happened to others when they moved in with their boyfriends. People warned that it would ruin our relationship, that is was too early, that I would get to know a side of him that I didn't know existed, and we would get sick of each other, etc, etc. All of this was actually very appealing. I am not interested in continuing on with the relationship if there is some secret evil hidden side of him that shows itself once we live together. Isn't one of the eventual goals of all good relationships to cohabitate? Why would I want to wait any longer to find these supposed deal breakers hidden deep within our relationship? As an adamant believer of not wasting time, I, of course wanted to see the dark, hidden, evil side of Arya ASAP, before it was too late to turn back. It also happens to be cheaper to share a one bedroom place between two people, plus I was already sleeping over with him maybe 5-6 nights a week anyways. Over a year after we began dating (and 3+ years of friendship before that) we officially moved in together.

And so far, it's been.... great. :) No complaints, at all. This alleged dark side that only comes out when you live with a person doesn't seem to exist with Arya. Maybe we need more time to really see, but I would think that 6+ months of living together would suffice. Who knows, I'll keep you updated if it takes a turn for the worse.

Maybe those other relationships that became doomed after a move-in became so, not because of the move-in, but because they were doomed from the start? As my undergrad psychology major courses loved to stress over and over, "correlation doesn't imply causation." I'm sure a lot of couples in those many move-in horror stories might have broken up regardless of sharing living quarters.

I know it's way soon for me to act like some expert on the topic, but in case you're interested, here are some ways that Arya and I make living together work. Or rather, how we make our relationship work. Because in the end there really hasn't been a change in our relationship after the move in, other than fighting over closet space because we both have wayyy too many shoes (and his size 13 feet don't make it any easier).

Very General Relationship Tips: 
(If you don't agree, let me know! I'm always learning and am open to new suggestions.)

• Take real interest in each other's interests, passions, and goals.
  
  Arya is my number one fan, he is behind me 100% when it comes to me reaching my goals. He helped me stay on track while studying for the LSAT and applying to schools, he believes in me no matter what my next (at times crazy) goals are. He even reads every single blog post that I write. :)
  
  On the other side of the relationship, Arya's interests are mostly what I would have never ever ever previously taken an interest. Like basketball, if you mentioned it to me pre-Arya I would have been like zzzzz, but because I care so much about Arya and his love of basketball is so important to him, I took an open minded look at the sport and listened to all he had to say about it. I still don't necessarily love the sport itself, but through opening myself up to something new, now I honestly love hearing his opinion about whatever is going on in the NBA. Through hearing about what bothers him or excites him about the NBA, I've gotten to know him better. It has indirectly shown me what he values in people, as morals, what kind of work ethic he believes in, and what kind of person he wants to be.
  
  Even though at first your significant other's passions or interests may seem like a bore, through opening yourself up and learning about it, you may find even more that you love about that person. If someone is passionate about something then that is also an important part of them. By not understanding that part of your significant other, you may end up never really getting to truly know them.
  
  
• When a problem arises, talk it out.
  
  Talk it out, talk it out, talk it out! As you might have already derived from this blog, I am a huge proponent of expressing myself. Anytime I feel something about someone I like to let them know. Not only do I prefer to let them know, but I might be incapable of otherwise. That's part of the reason I like to stay positive about people and focus on the good, because it's going to end up coming out of me, good or bad, and I would rather face the backlash of my positive feedback. Anyways, talking through your problems while being completely open and honest about everything really helps. It can be the difference between solving the symptom of the problem versus addressing the root of the issue. Figuring out what the root of the issue can save you so much time later  in the relationship. Although it may seem like more work early on, in the end you will have saved yourself a lot of trouble by not having the same fight again and again. I personally can't let an issue rest until I understand the other side and we both come to a mutual understanding/solution. Plus, by really understanding where both people are coming from, you usually find that most fights are fueled by some misunderstanding/miscommunication.
  
  
• Don't just talk, but REALLY listen.
  
  This one is similar to the previous bullet, but by no means any less important. You can talk and express yourself all night long but if you don't listen to the other side then nothing gets accomplished. No matter how angry you might be you need to have an open mind and consider where the other side is coming from.
  
  
• Appreciate each other, daily.
  
  Your significant other can be the best, most amazing, thoughtful, caring, beautiful, and overall perfect person in the world, but if you don't take the time to remind yourself what you appreciate about them then you may take it for granted. When you are with someone for a while it's easy to forget what you have. To verbalize what it is that you appreciate on a daily basis about that special someone not only internally reiterates your love for them but also let's your partner know that you still care. Both are essential to remaining close and connected.
  
  
• Say thank you.
  
  Kind of similar to the previous point, but I mean this one to apply to actions/behaviors and not as much to traits. My grandparents have been happily married for over 50 years. Most recently, due to health issues, my grandfather has spent a lot of time helping my grandmother in and out of hospitals. It's been a stressful time for them both, but their love is as strong as ever. When you ask my grandfather how they can get through it all, he simply says, "she always says thank you." A "thank you" can go a long way, and it's incredibly easy.
  
  
• Take turns/ stay equals
  
  I am a strong believer that a relationship should be an equal partnership. None of that one side pays for everything BS, that's what a parent is for (unless of course one side is taking care of the children, incapable of contributing equally, etc.). The only man I will ever allow to pay for me like that was my dad. My significant other is to be my partner, to share life with, and to grow with. I don't only mean it to apply to financial one-sidedness, everything else should be equal too. Both sides should equally bring out the best in their partners. If your partner doesn't make you a better person or help you reach your potential and vice-versa, then you're both doing each other a disservice. 

These points may seem obvious, but they are essential to an improved relationship. Sometimes people forget about the simple things in life. I also recognize that every couple is different and what works for one set of people might ruin another relationship. I have even made this mistake myself. I've seen another couple functioning a certain way, got jealous, tried to incorporate it into my relationship, without the same results. Remember, (cliché alert) the grass is not always greener on the other side. Every lawn needs a different formula to help it thrive. With all that said, I still believe the above suggestions are so general that they can be applied to most anyone.

One more important thing that I think people overlook is that love does not conquer all. A crazy passionate love/lust only lasts so long. It can be a fun element, yes, but I think liking them can be the harder element to fulfill. Love without like I say? Think about it, you may love your annoying little sibling, but you might not necessarily like them all the time. Another example may be a crazy obsessive, can't live without each other love that at the end of the day, if you take out the crazy passionate sex, would they enjoy just talking to each other? You need to love, like, and respect your significant other. A good way to test this might be visualize yourself 70 years from now sitting in the nursing home. You can’t really move much, all you do all day long is sit in your rocking chair. Can you see your current significant other sitting next to you in their own rocking chair? Is that the person you'd want most there? If you say yes, then you probably really do like your partner. You'd be surprised how many people would not say yes to this.

Remember this old thing? 
It probably makes more sense to just show this diagram. Instead I tried to explain
something similar in the last paragraph without just using the official triangle terms.

Remember, I am only 23 and do not claim to know it all or anything really. These are just my ramblings derived from my mere 6+ years of committed relationship experience. All I know is that I found things that work for me. I’m sickeningly happy in my current relationship. Consider yourself lucky that this post wasn’t more of an ushy gushy love fest about Arya, as it could have very easily become. I’ve been told that after almost two years with him, I still glow when I talk about the roomie. =) I only wish everyone else to be as happy. I guess, just find what and who works best with you, and stick with it.

My Stalker, an Overview

ummer of '06 I took a couple extra classes at the nearby community college in order avoid taking them that fall. During one of those courses I met a young man whose real name I will not use, for fear that he finds this post, therefore he will be simply referred to as Stalker. During our class together I barely reciprocated his small talk, yet he repeatedly hit on me and asked for my number. He would not take no for an answer. When that six week course finally ended, he managed to find me in the twelve week course I was taking on a completely different campus. One day he was even waiting for me outside of the classroom. During the class' half point break I went outside to see why he was there. He, again, asked if I would date him. I reminded Stalker that I had a boyfriend and that either way I was still definitely not interested. He continued to ask again and again until I went back into the classroom. At this point I was a little concerned about his inability to take a hint/direct rejection and all the effort it must have taken him to find my classroom.

In the fall he transferred to my school, where we happened to enroll in the same course, again. The first day of class he sat down right next to me and began talking. I didn't respond to him. After class was over he followed me out to the parking lot until I finally told him not to talk to me or come near me ever again. The next class he sat far away. As the weeks passed, Stalker began slowly sitting closer and closer until he was in the seat next to me again. At first he would ask questions/make comments like, “What did I do to deserve this?” and “I'm really sorry for whatever I did.” I never responded. I thought that if I did not give him any attention, there would be no reinforcement and he would give up. Then Stalker just stared at me for most of the class with the occasional “Can I have your phone number?” I saw all of this out of the corner of my eye, I refused to even look at him directly. He would always be peeking over my shoulder at whatever I was working on and constantly invading my personal space. I tried my best not react or make any contact with him, with the hopes that he would eventually get bored.

After the end of that class he somehow he found my email address (I'm assuming on a class roster somewhere) and sent me numerous messages. Below are some highlights. While reading please keep in mind that we never had any kind of relationship or even real conversations before these emails.

July 4, 2007: 

“I need to begin by saying I'm almost dying, I miss you so much. And if I don't die, I think that your absence will slowly bring me to some illness that will leave me as good as dead. As a last request, please forgive me if I ever hurt your feelings.” 

July 24, 2007:

“To start off, I want a kiss. I am almost happy, because I know that I will be meeting you again soon when I am dead and in the otherworld.” 

I received no more e-mails after I contacted the police. I'm sure it had a little to do with them paying him a home visit. When classes began in the fall, we had another class together. Fortunately, he dropped this class at the end of the first week. Halfway through the semester my professor pulled me out of class to talk to me about some e-mails he received from Stalker. My professor wanted to know the nature of our relationship. I explained that we were never friends and that he had been bothering me for more than a year. My professor said that Stalker had informed him of another story in which I was sending him mixed signals and that Stalker had deep feelings for me. My professor expressed his concern for my safety and advised me to contact the Judicial Affairs Office if it persisted. A couple weeks after that conversation I saw Stalker sitting outside of the class staring at me as I walked away.

Stalker created many Facebook accounts to virtually friend me, some using his real name, some with different alias’ like "Monica Johnson." I blocked every suspicious account. Sometimes these friend requests would be accompanied by messages like “I know where you live and what all your classes are.” Not sure how that line was supposed to entice me into accepting his requests...

A couple times the university police got involved. Of course the police took my side. They let me know that Stalker said things like, “You know how sometimes a girl says ‘no,’ but her body is saying ‘yes,’ well that’s how this is.” Despite these kinds of comments, they could not legally do anything more than place a campus-wide kind of restraining order between us. We were not allowed near each other, which was a-ok with me. Since he never touched me, there was nothing else they could do. Later when the county police were contacted they could legally do even less to try and help.

I have actually left out many details to keep the story more compact. (Yes, it could be longer than this.) But since I met Stalker, he has consistently contacted me on average, probably every 8-10 months. Sometimes it’s a little stupid e-card in my inbox, sometimes links to love songs, and sometimes just more Facebook friend requests. It has been getting better, but it’s just always something to worry about in the back of my mind. I am so thankful that it has turned into nothing more than annoyances and disturbances, but it only takes one chance encounter for something awful to happen.

The worst part is not how invasive he's been in my life, but that I feel like there is nothing to learn from the situation. (If you think I'm wrong please please enlighten me!) If I could go back in time, what would I do differently? There is nothing that I feel I can pass onto other girls who might also be at risk. When you learn something from a bad experience it can take the edge off and also help you grow. This experience has just wasted my time. The only positive thing I can think to attribute to this is that I took a self-defense class which led me to take karate, which has definitely been a positive part of my life. If nothing else, I can at least say "thank you Stalker, because of you, I now have a black belt."  :)

Set Goals ☑ Accomplish Goals ☑

ating good food improves your health, yeah yeah, but to-do lists too? A friend recently told me that to-do lists are actually good for your health. Which means my obsessive list making isn't as off as I thought. (Here's an article for more explanation) Eight months have passed since I took the LSATs and I am, I guess luckily, still on a non-academic goals kick. I'm obsessed with figuring out what I want and then doing it. Checking off to-do boxes are just so much fun. Please try it --> 

Anyway, here's an update of the goals list I made back in October:

• Run a 5k race on Thanksgiving ☐ Even though this is a no check,  I did raise a little money for it and actually walked a 3K later in April for MS. So maybe half check?
• Take belly dancing classes ☐ I looked into it, but it’s on the back burner right now.
• Learn to play tennis/golf ☐ Setting this goal right before winter started wasn't the smartest...
• Move out in December ☑ Blog post raving about my roomie and living situation to come soon.
• Shoot a gun at a shooting range ☐ I’m still looking forward to getting this one checked off.
• Learn to cook (at least one dish really well) ☑ This check may not be valid because I’m counting the one and only time I attempted to cook a very difficult Persian dish and it shockingly came out fabulous. I have not attempted since, for fear that it was only beginner’s luck.
• Understand football better ☑
• Read for fun again ☑ I still don't do this as much as I'd like, but I'm glad I'm at least improving ... it's just so hard to make any time for it.
• Travel more ☑ Since I set this goal I've been to Colombia, Switzerland, Italy, and even a little more around the US (Philly and Boston) for the first time.

I accomplished a bunch of goals that weren't even on that list too. (I don't want you to think I'm a slacker since some of the check boxes are empty.)

Goals set since the above-mentioned list that have already been accomplished:

• Earn a black belt ☑ Yeah, that one was a surprise check to me too. After more than four years of practice, it definitely feels nice. A lot more expectations, but that always comes alongside accomplishment.
• Get into Law School ☑ (See previous post)
• Blog more consistently ☑ (see posts between now and last October if you want proof)
• Enjoy watching the NBA ☑ Yes, I may have a workable understanding of the NFL, but all that pales in comparison to what I now know about the NBA. More specifically, I know way too much about the Lakers. Considering that two years ago I couldn't have told you what a series in the playoffs was or what it meant to be "inside the paint," now I can tell you all that, including what an ally-oop is, the history of Nowitzki's shooting skills, and why I’m not a fan of LeBron James or JaVale McGee’s on the court attitude/style.
• Get to know DC better ☑ Seeing as I've lived within a 20 mile radius of it my whole life, this one was a must. But it might technically only be a half check for now, only because I go out of town so many weekends, but I’m definitely getting there.
• Go out more ☑ Left in my natural state I'm definitely a homebody. All my life my friends have had to drag me out to social situations. Once I’m out I definitely enjoy myself, but it’s always been very difficult to just get me out. Yes, odd, but I’m slowly getting over myself, ok?
• Dye my hair black, again ☑ I don’t know what it is, but I LOVE black hair. Jet black, none of that dark brown nonsense either. Maybe it ties in with the other extreme tendencies I have, extreme likes/dislikes, etc. But no matter the reason, I just love black hair. Whenever I go to get it dyed the hairdresser is always baffled by my love of black hair since my hair is already very brown. I've been told how unusual it is for women to want darker hair. Also, many people don't even see the difference afterwards, which also makes no sense to me because my hair has a lot of red/blond in the sun, during the summer months. Oh well, I guess my main point is that I am very glad this box is checked off.

From boring brown to beautiful black! yes! 

All of this to-do listing is making me feel healthier already! I highly recommend to-do lists for everyone, and not just for those with OCD tendencies like myself.

To Go or Not To Go?

"... Living in a foreign country is one of those things that everyone should try at least once. My understanding was that it completed a person, sanding down the rough provincial edges and transforming you into a citizen of the world. 

What I find appealing in life abroad was the inevitable sense of helplessness it would inspire. Equally exciting would be the work involved in overcoming that helplessness. There would be a goal involved, and I like having goals."

-David Sedaris

ot too far back, my very international second cousin got me thinking: Do I need to move?

My second cousin is half Persian, half Indian, born in Iran, raised in Sweden, moved to England, and then lived in different US cities including Seattle, New York, and DC. He brought attention to the fact that I need to get out of the area, considering I was born in the DC metro area, raised in the DC metro area, went to school in the DC metro area, and now work in the DC metro area. Maybe he has a point? I do see a pattern... Oh, and although I went away to college for a year in Harrisonburg, Virginia, he wouldn't count that since I was mostly surrounded by others from the DC metro area, on top of the fact that I came home every other weekend.

Part of my decision to stay around home during my college years were unfortunate family circumstances, but now that is all resolved, and I have no excuse. I am in a time where I have the flexibility in my life to go anywhere. I am young, no kids, no overbearing responsibilities to tie me down, and no career that forces me to stay in one position/location forever. I am afraid that time is running out for me and soon I won’t be so free or young anymore. My opportunities will be gone and all that is left will be regret. Probably my biggest fear-- being left with too many regrets at the end of my lifetime. I want to prevent as much of that as possible and now might be a big chance.

I have visited some international places, ie. France, Mexico, Colombia, Switzerland, and Italy. From these short trips I have already tasted the personal growth that comes from expanding your horizons and experiencing new places, people, and cultures. But is there a huge difference when you actually uproot your life and LIVE somewhere different? I wouldn't know; I am just a townie. A townie in a relatively diverse and highly populated area, but does that really make it any better?

I have no idea where I would want to go. And now that I start attending a DC law school in the fall, what are my options? Plus, I don't have a great aptitude when it comes to learning new languages, which doesn’t leave many English-speaking international options, when places like England don’t interest me. Maybe a different US city? LA or NYC definitely have a different culture than DC. I just don’t know right now. Do I really need to have lived somewhere else to have a full life? What's wrong with forever just taking lots of vacations and weekend excursions??

Shaving Does NOT Make Hair Grow Back Thicker

any people, wayyyy too many people in my opinion, believe that shaving makes your hair grow back thicker. I don’t know why, but this ill-founded belief has always been a huge pet peeve. I just can’t understand why people would think that. If you take a moment to think logically about it, people should realize that it just doesn’t make any sense. The hair on the outside of your skin (the only part that a razor blade can reach) is already dead. For something to affect the growth habit of a hair follicle, at the very least, wouldn’t it need to contact the part of the hair that is still developing or contributing to its growth? I guess I will never understand why this is such a widespread belief. I’m also sure that I will continue to get annoyed when people, especially adults, really think about it and still believe that shaving turns people into monkeys.

If you’re one of the people that thinks shaving is the culprit behind hairy adults, and not puberty, please look through the following articles for more detailed explanations.

Mayo Clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hair-removal/an00638
Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/hairgrow.asp
Today I Found Out:
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/07/shaving-does-not-make-your-hair-grow-back-thicker-or-faster/

My Not-So-Secret Crush on Tupac

didn't think much of rap music as I was growing up. When I watched TRL after school, if a rap music video came on it meant bathroom/water break before a Britney or Christina video started. It wasn’t until college that I finally began developing my infatuation with the rap genre. I just love clever lyrics and when it’s delivered with good rhythm and over great beats, ah I can’t get enough. Some girls say that a guy with an accent makes him 20 times sexier, for me it’s a guy who can rap well.

There are many rappers that have my heart, but I always find myself going back to my first love, Tupac Amaru Shakur. If only he was still with us, I’m sure he would have matured and channeled more of his anger into solving the social problems he was always preaching about. He didn’t advertise this about himself, but he was always trying to find ways to help those still in poverty. He could have just been partying, (I'm not denying that he didn’t still do a lot of that) but he also would invite homeless people to stay at his mansions. Tupac would take people in and use his money to help. It's pretty rare for celebrities to do that these days without hoping to get lots of press in return. So many of the current rap stars use their personal stories of living in poverty to rise out but then never look back or help their old neighborhoods unless their PR manager tells them to.

Maybe I’ve watch too many documentaries about him, but he was something different. Not just as a rapper, but as a person. So intelligent, so passionate, so good hearted. Yes, he had his demons, yes this led him to medicate with Hennessey/marijuana mixed with bouts of youthful anger and bitterness, but he had so much to say of real substance.

At the height of his fame he could have just sat back and enjoyed his money and power. Instead he continued to burden himself with the problems of the world. Tupac wanted to change things, not just personally gain. I really admire anyone who is at the top and still remembers the everyday problems of those below.

I think if he hadn’t died so young he would have grown up to be like Malcolm X was later in life (without the Islam aspect). An intelligent and passionate man who wasn’t satisfied with the status quo, who strove to make his society a better place. Side note- Malcolm X is another love of mine. Anyone who teaches themselves how to read in prison by going through the entire dictionary, at the very least should have respect for that impressive feat.

No matter what I say I think Tupac does a better job of explaining himself, so here are some videos...

17 year old Tupac is adorable! After ~6 minutes he starts talking about his respect for the ladies. I encourage you, if you have time, to watch all parts of the interview. He’s super cute and such an idealist. A lot of the interview is devoted to how much he loves his mom and all that she’s taught him (if this song didn’t already explain it enough for you http://youtu.be/JNcloTmvTeA). I love boys who come from strong mothers, so he’s got that going for him in my book too. I love the whole interview, but at least enjoy this section.




Here is one of my favorite Tupac songs. Later in life he was still a feminist at heart.




More about what he thinks about issues, not just money, drugs, and hos like so much rap today.




I could easily post 20 more songs and interviews, but everyone already knows Tupac. I will end with a classic, which also happens to be what first led me to fall in love with him.

Pass It On

n my commute home there is a intersection with a traffic light where homeless people usually walk up and down asking people in their cars for handouts. Each day there is a different homeless person, some with missing limbs, a limp, or a poster explaining how they got there.

My usual protocol when passing this intersection is to avoid eye contact, otherwise I will feel even worse about their predicament and the rest of my ride home will be too sad to handle. (yes, selfish) I don't give money to people who ask like that because, unfortunately, a lot of the people on the streets are just going to use it to fuel some kind of addiction. A lot of homeless shelters turn out people because they are addicts, so I don't want to be an enabler and fuel their addiction with cash so they just continue to stay out of homeless shelters. Ah, ok this can get into a big huge political discussion about homelessness, mental illnesses, and addiction, but that's not what I want to talk about. Anywaysssss...

A few weeks ago, as I was sitting at this red light, I read the sign that that day's homeless man was carrying. I don't remember the exact words now, but instead of the usual pity story, he wrote that he wouldn't be homeless long and that as soon as possible he would pay any help received forward (or "pay it forward," if you want to use the Kevin Spacey movie title). He promised that whatever money you gave him, once he was able, he would put it back out into the world for someone else in need. I know that very easily could have been a lie, but it got me. If someone can think of people other than themselves when they have such enormous personal difficulties, I admire that. I wish more people thought like that and lived that way. So I rolled down my window and gave him $20. I'm not bragging, I never give homeless people anything, and actually for the rest of my ride felt so guilty about not giving him more. He made me smile and I don't think I will forget him easily. When he accepted the money, he felt genuine.  But who knows, I'm a terrible judge of character. Even if he doesn't pass it on someday, he still gave me a little more hope in this world.

Law School Admissions Decision: Admitted

have now officially mailed in my seat deposit to guarantee my spot as a part of an incoming full-time law class. As you can imagine, the excitement/fear of what will begin this August are at an all-time high. 

My next few months are devoted to having fun, traveling a little around the country, enjoying the fact that I’m allowed to sit and do absolutely nothing, and reading any books/articles that might help me successfully get through the next year. 

Three months… wow, didn’t realize it was so soon until right this moment. I have a lot to do before then!

My future!

Just Sick of Being Sick

ven though this year has been an amazing year so far, maybe even the best, it has definitely been lacking in one department-- my health.

Thankfully I haven’t had any major illnesses or conditions (knock on wood!), but I’m pretty sure I’ve been sick more than healthy since January. It’s just been back to back colds and the flu. The worst was when I had to stay home from work two days because I felt like death and didn’t even have enough energy to groan about the pain. I had a cough for more than two weeks and eventually had to get antibiotics that just made me super nauseous. Fun times… Now I have yet another cold. I think it’s combined with seasonal allergies to make for extra excitement at bed time. No decongestant is working and I just feel like complaining about it. So there. I’m sick again and it’s getting really old, fast.

The weird part is that I’m one of those annoying people that is always like, “I never get sick.” So thanks universe for showing me that I’m not Wonder Woman. Or maybe this is just making  up for all those flu’s and colds I didn’t get when I was younger? Eh, since when is life supposed to be fair?

Anywhoo, what I’m really worried about is the fact that I have to get all of my wisdom teeth taken out soon. I went for a teeth cleaning after about six years (yeah, the dentist wasn’t too pleased about that). Good News: I have no cavities and wonderfully healthy teeth, despite my professional cleaning neglect. Bad News: My x-rays showed that my wisdom teeth are impacted and definitely need to be removed ASAP. I know that this is a standard procedure and most people have to remove their wisdom teeth, but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying.

Being the freak that I am, of course I have been researching non-stop the possible side effects of the procedure, how long it takes to recover, what can go wrong, etc. And let me tell you, a lot can go wrong. One of the scariest is that they can hit your nerves wrong causing “numbness in the mouth or lips that does not go away.” What?? Ok ok, it was listed under “rare side effects,” but still! And that possibility is on top of the scariness that comes along with the anesthetics they use during the procedure and the horrible narcotic pain relievers they give you afterwards. I’d also have to sleep sitting up to prevent a dry socket from forming, which also sounds terrifying. Ah, I could go on, but I am only freaking myself out more.

I guess the bottom line is that I have been putting off scheduling a consultation for the surgery for too long. Also, I willingly admit that I am a little bit neurotic about medical procedures.

For now, I am just going to focus on getting rid of my current cold. Chicken soup and lots of fluids for me tonight! Then maybe I’ll eventually get around to calling that oral surgeon…

Welcoming The Year 1390!

Today is the first day of Spring, which means it's Persian New Years! 

Aide shoma mobarak!

Last night, at 7:21 PM EST, the new year began. Although it has only been a few months since we celebrated the start of a new Gregorian calendar year, I'm always in the mood for fresh beginnings. 

All this talk of new beginnings makes me think of that Bob Dylan lyric, "He not busy being born is busy dying." Such a great way to go through life. Sometimes people need a little encouragement to not let their lives become stagnant. There is way too much to learn, see, do, eat, and experience before it comes to that. 

Anyways, if you just want a little fun celebrating music/see some interesting fashion choices then here you go:

And for those of you not that familiar with Persian New Year, here's a little background and information:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nowruz

http://www.npr.org/2011/03/18/134656808/Spring-Equinox-Signals-Persian-New-Year

ko-LOM-bee-yaa!!

s a part of New Year's Eve celebrations in Colombia it is customary to carry a suitcase around the block to ensure many travels throughout the new year. Such a contrast to the kinds of things that Americans wish for at the start of their new year. Americans wish for things like smaller waistlines and making more money. So of course, among other reasons too, I was very excited to visit a country that puts such high value on traveling and experiencing new places.

From January 2nd through 9th I had the chance to visit Colombia for the first time. Why Colombia you ask? No, I am not Colombian, as everyone I tell about my trip first assumes. Arya went a couple years ago and ever since he had been raving about how amazing the country and the people are, etc, etc. I couldn't handle it anymore and convinced him (didn't take much effort) that if it was that great then he was due for a return. Plus, he wanted me to finally see what all his fuss was about. After more than a year of hearing about how amazing Colombia was, how could I turn down the suggestion? And that's how I eventually ended up in Colombia.

Although it was Arya's second time in Colombia, his first trip was very different than what we experienced this January. He spent his first trip primarily at the parties and beaches of  Santa Marta, while our trip was spent at a different city everyday. We got to see Bucaramanga, San Gil, Tunja, Villa de Lleyva, Sogamoso, Laguna de Tota, Playa Blanca, and Bogotá. A lot of time spent in cars, buses, and planes, but it was all well worth it.

I saw so much I don't even know where to start. I guess I will just share some pictures and let it stand at that. Please keep in mind that we only took pictures with an iPhone 4 (sorry we were lazy) and pictures never ever give beautiful places the justice they deserve. And Colombia is a BEAUTIFUL place, no lie. The only unfortunate part about our trip was that it was too short (there was so much more we wanted to see) and Colombia just experienced a series of freak floods, so it occasionally rained, which is very unusual. Even at it's ugliest, the country didn't stop taking my breath away. Considering how beautiful every place we visited was, I was not surprised by the pride and love all of their citizens have for their home.

And now for some pictures:

A Farewell to the Fabulous 2010

2010 has come and gone, even though it feels like only yesterday that I celebrated the start of 2010.

Beginning of 2010

Beginning of 2011

Still, I can’t believe how much has happened between those two pictures. After ending such a fabulous year filled with so much growth, first times, and fun, I'm reallyyyy looking forward to whatever is in store for 2011.

:)

Christmas Giving

ust as expected, my Christmas was amazing. My sister and I flew to Upstate New York to see our American side of the family. It was a typical Simpson Christmas, filled with pepperoni rolls, Catch Phrase, cousin photo shoots, and laughing until the aunts start crying. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Some cousins, the sister, an aunt, and me.

Anyways, years back, when all of my dad’s sisters and brother started having children of their own, they decided that instead of exchanging gifts between everyone, they agreed to just buy gifts for each other’s kids. This was an effort to reduce the stress and clutter of unnecessary and unwanted gifts. But as the children started getting older the rules of who should receive gifts started to blur. There was no cut-off date; what happened when a kid graduated high school and then college? I am the oldest, so many years ago I started trying to make it clear that there was no reason to keep giving me gifts. Yet, every Christmas the gifts continued. I guess it’s hard to break tradition? Thankfully this year the family finally realized that, as a college graduate, I can finally graduate from gifts too.

Since I was in my early teens, I have always been against the idea of me receiving Christmas gifts. Unlike my little sister who used to write out a detailed wish list spreadsheet complete with links/sizes/colors, I acknowledge that I live a very privileged life and I have always gotten all that I wanted. I am always so spoiled that by the time Christmas rolls around I have nothing left to ask for. I have always honestly felt that the true beauty of the holiday season is showing love to your family and friends (in forms other than superficial gifts). I tried asking people not to buy me gifts and to instead make donations, in my honor, to their favorite charity. This year I took it a step even further and as my gift to others I made donations to non-profits that I thought would tie-in nicely with their interests or passions. Don’t worry, of course I made exceptions for little kids who still deserve the excitement of tangible toys and don’t understand what a donation means.

I love it when I hear about families who go to soup kitchens or send gifts to orphanages in lieu of the traditional Christmas gift exchange. In America we are so unbelievably blessed that we can afford to take the Christmas spirit to a broader level. Yes, giving to our family and friends is wonderful and should happen all year long, but when we are taking extra time off to celebrate maybe we should take some of that love and spread it around even more? Personally, I can't stand the idea of just buying gifts for my little circle of family and friends.

Yes, my face is an ornament...

As I was listening to NPR on my ride home from work in early December, I heard the story of a lady who didn’t have the money to pay her bills and never experienced a ‘typical’ family Christmas. She lived in foster-care her whole life, and now that she has an infant of her own she was so excited to finally be able to give her daughter what she never had herself, a family to love around the holidays and traditions of their own to start. It just killed me to be reminded of how lucky my family and I are even in a non-monetary sense, and how important it is to share any good fortune with others. Ok, yes I know others feel this way too and I’m probably the least giving person all year round, but the more I remind myself of these ideas, hopefully the more I can actually live them. Please don’t see this post as a lecture on how amazing I am or how people should be more giving like me. I mean it only as a gentle self-reminder to continue being grateful and remembering there is a world outside myself. That is all.

Anyways, I did receive some amazing and much appreciated gifts this year. Since I have been going on about how it’s my dream to be a bartender, the roomie surprised me with a bartending starter kit, complete with recipe book, all the garnishes, and a colorful (very important) mixer shaker thing. Also, my grandfather made a big donation to an organization that supplies desks to classrooms in Africa that are in desperate need of better facilities. He also gave me a large set of beautifully bound century old books that belonged to his father. My dream of filling a Beauty and the Beast style library one day is now well on its way. I feel so lucky to have people around me that actually listen to my hopes and dreams, no matter how silly they may be. Told you I live a very privileged life. :)