Grandma, May You Rest in Peace

In case you can't read it, the text says: "Will you love me in December as you do in May, will you love me in the good old fashioned way? When my hair has all turned gray, will you kiss me and say, That you love me in December as you do in May?"

hose are my grandparents. I took that picture back in 2008 at their 50th wedding anniversary celebration. After a five year battle with heart problems, my grandmother passed away this month. Although I added the text on the photo above in 2008, the answer ended up being yes. My grandfather loved my grandmother in the same way he did when they first met as teenagers through her last very difficult days.

My grandmother was a wonderful lady and was a very big part of my life. During my childhood summers we would make play-dough together, weave rugs out of old sheets, and  decorate sombrero hats melted down from Styrofoam cups. At Christmases she would make her famous pepperoni rolls and vanilla cake. Then during my summer visits, when I was too old for childhood arts and crafts, we could just sit back and watch silly TV shows while discussing which male actors were the the most attractive.

She was always very young in spirit. She had the greatest sense of humor, as in only she would think something silly was funny. Then she would proceed to laugh about it for so long that you would eventually get drawn in and laugh too. For as long as I knew her she never lost that youthful sense of humor. My grandmother was also very honest. She could be upfront and tell you like it is, while still being her charming self. She was a smart lady with a lot to say and wasn't afraid to share her thoughts with others. Although she was much more, I will probably always remember her best for her sense of humor and honesty.

I am still missing her, but I am thankful that she is no longer in pain. My grandma is in a better place now-- next to her son, her parents, and all the others who are no longer with us.

She was beautiful inside and out, from beginning to end.

My grandma as a young teenager back in West Virginia.

Five Years Without You

Dear Daddy,

Today officially makes it five years since you died. In some ways I cannot believe it's been that long and in other ways I feel like I've lived three lives since. But no matter how many years pass by, your place in my life is still empty.

After you left I literally cried every day for six months straight. Then when I realized I hadn't cried one day I freaked out, fearing that I was forgetting you, which of course led right back to those familiar tears. I couldn't even watch Grey's Anatomy at first because the hospital scenes reminded me too much of the three uncertain days of waiting by your ICU bedside before it took a turn for the worst. I definitely did my share of private grieving but have come a long way since, even though I still have my occasional moments.

Of course, I would still do anything to talk to you now. To hear your thoughts on the the current debt ceiling crisis, my life choices, or even just the weather. Anything.

Although you are always with me, I still miss you every day. Thank you for being such an amazing father and friend who loved me unconditionally and in so many ways gave me such a solid foundation of love and support to start my life from. I am so grateful for the years I got to spend with you, to know you, and to learn from you. But when the missing gets too tough I try and remind myself of what your brother said to me the night before your funeral, "Some people never get to have a dad as great as yours. In some ways you're lucky to have had him for even as long as 18 years." While he had a point, I think I might still prefer that conversation about the weather.

Loving you always,

Christina

Probably not the best picture of either of us, but pictures of us on my computer are pretty limited.