Christina, The Beauty Pageant Contestant

es, you read the title correctly. I competed in the 2012 Miss Sinergy beauty pageant (all for charity of course). And I placed second! Crazy, right? Now, for those that know me well, this seemed completely out of left field, but I really did it to do something outside my comfort zone and to try and help me improve on my inner beauty. After all, with the help of a good spray tan and a makeup artist applying drag queen levels of make up, I had plenty of help with the outer beauty element.

Internal beauty? How would a pageant named after the outside physical beauty help my inner beauty... Well, that's simple. Since when does the most beautiful girl win the beauty pageant? Ok yea, the ugliest girl never wins, but the final winner always has to have the entire package. She has to be (or at least seem to be) beautiful from the inside out. Have you ever met anyone that was drop dead gorgeous but then after getting to know them for a few minutes or days or years later you find them to be repulsive because their inner beauty does not reflect the outside appearance? I know it's cliché to say this, but I honestly believe that physical beauty is overrated and inner beauty is all that matters, except maybe in a photograph. I know too many people that become more beautiful physically to me because of what they offer from within and so many gorgeous individuals with sucky personalities who I can't look at for too long without getting annoyed. To a certain extent, I really only see the inside after a while. Maybe that's how everyone works, or maybe I'm unlucky, or maybe I'm actually really lucky because of it. No matter the explanation, it's the honest truth. There are many people who may not have a very fortunate lot in the beauty department, but then after getting to know them I can't look at them any other way other than as beautiful. Physically beautiful, really just because their inner beauty radiates outward.

The Evening Gown Competition

Anyways, back to the pageant. The seeds for entering a competition like this were planted when I was an audience member at the last year's Miss Sinergy competition. Initially I was convinced to attend because the ticket money went towards charity (mainly a breast cancer foundation), plus it's always fun to dress up for events. At the event I met some great people and got to talking to a judge who was adamant about my entrance in the next year's competition. He said I would be a great candidate. Then, at the after party, I met some of the contestants who also recommended that I enter next time since they had so  much fun participating. The candidates said that they met a bunch of amazing people and it was just an overall great time. They didn't report any of the usual catty-ness you'd expect at a pageant, plus it's all for charity. Since then my little sister had been encouraging me to just go for it. And you're only young once, so I just went ahead and entered.

Pass It On

n my commute home there is a intersection with a traffic light where homeless people usually walk up and down asking people in their cars for handouts. Each day there is a different homeless person, some with missing limbs, a limp, or a poster explaining how they got there.

My usual protocol when passing this intersection is to avoid eye contact, otherwise I will feel even worse about their predicament and the rest of my ride home will be too sad to handle. (yes, selfish) I don't give money to people who ask like that because, unfortunately, a lot of the people on the streets are just going to use it to fuel some kind of addiction. A lot of homeless shelters turn out people because they are addicts, so I don't want to be an enabler and fuel their addiction with cash so they just continue to stay out of homeless shelters. Ah, ok this can get into a big huge political discussion about homelessness, mental illnesses, and addiction, but that's not what I want to talk about. Anywaysssss...

A few weeks ago, as I was sitting at this red light, I read the sign that that day's homeless man was carrying. I don't remember the exact words now, but instead of the usual pity story, he wrote that he wouldn't be homeless long and that as soon as possible he would pay any help received forward (or "pay it forward," if you want to use the Kevin Spacey movie title). He promised that whatever money you gave him, once he was able, he would put it back out into the world for someone else in need. I know that very easily could have been a lie, but it got me. If someone can think of people other than themselves when they have such enormous personal difficulties, I admire that. I wish more people thought like that and lived that way. So I rolled down my window and gave him $20. I'm not bragging, I never give homeless people anything, and actually for the rest of my ride felt so guilty about not giving him more. He made me smile and I don't think I will forget him easily. When he accepted the money, he felt genuine.  But who knows, I'm a terrible judge of character. Even if he doesn't pass it on someday, he still gave me a little more hope in this world.